You know you're old when...

• All the ads for the tv shows you watch are for treatments for depression, diabetes or erectile and urinary dysfunction.
• You don't see a single name you know on the list of celebrity birthday celebrants in the morning newspaper.
• You're reading the morning newspaper in the first place.
• You learn that your given name was the most popular in the nation for babies born between 1949 and 1954.
• The year-end reports of what's in and what's out surprise you - not because of what's newly in, but because you never were actually aware of anything that is already out.
• The only name you recognize on the list of New Year's Rockin' Eve performers is the almost-80-year-old founder who's had a stroke. Okay, that's not quite true, I recognize Lionel Richie's name, too.
• You're just happy to still be on the planet to see the ball drop once again. Even if you're watching it from another time zone so you can go ahead and go to bed an hour early and count it done.