Thought for the moment

"For a dog, every morning is Christmas morning. Every walk is the best walk, every meal is the best meal, every game is the best game. We can learn so much by observing the way our pets rejoice in life's simplest moments. Take time every day to celebrate the many gifts that are hidden in the ordinary events of your own life."

- Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer guy)

A breath of fresh air

Our household began the new year by having our home's air ducts cleaned.

We had over the years heard various points of view on the wisdom of duct-cleaning -- some claiming it's crucial to HVAC efficiency, others that it's a waste of time and money. Skeptics that we are, we leaned toward the waste-of-money perspective, as evidenced by the fact that we'd never had them cleaned. (Nor, apparently, had several previous owners: one of the items fished out of the vents by the duct-cleaning crew was a newspaper page from January 26, 1969).

But after 27 years of sharing this space with two kids and an assortment of cats, dogs, hamsters and guinea pigs, we decided it couldn't hurt.

There was plenty of ook to clear out, of course. There also was mold growing along the inside duct surfaces. At least that's what the duct-cleaning crew told us as they presented materials detailing the dire consequences of such a situation. No one in our household has ever suffered from respiratory ailments, so I looked at their "mold detector" with a fair amount of distrust. But in the end, the unsavory thought of blowing mold throughout the house every time the furnace fired up persuaded us to ante up for the sporicide treatment and an ultraviolet light to keep regrowth at bay.

I don't know whether we really had mold in our air ducts, or if the stuff they sprayed did anything more than reduce our checkbook balance. I just took their expertise and their recommendation on faith.

And real or imagined, the air does feel fresher these days.

This all crossed my mind as I settled into watching the tv talk shows on this Sunday morning that's just a few days into the new year and a few days away from the inauguration of a new President. The pundits on Meet the Press, the President-elect himself on This Week, even the combatants on a re-run of Friday night's McLaughlin Group, while realistic about the many thorny problems that face our nation and our world, with different points of view about solutions, still seemed ready to be hopeful that the new administration can lead us toward positive steps out of this mess.

I'm hopeful too. Yeah, we've got a a really big build-up of problems, the existence of which I don't question like I did the mold in the air ducts. There's a whole lot of dirt, contaminants and worse that, frankly, we all had a role in contributing to, and all must help clean up. I know it won't be easy and will probably entail some pain and personal sacrifice.

But I trust the new guy. I am taking it on faith that he has the smarts, the will and the right sporicide to move forward in an appropriate, positive way that will disinfect the mold and set a healthier course.

And that makes me breathe easier. For now, at least.

Thought for the moment in the new year

“My father has always inspired me. He said, ‘don’t wake up at 65 and think about what you should have done.’”

– George Clooney

You know you're old when...

• All the ads for the tv shows you watch are for treatments for depression, diabetes or erectile and urinary dysfunction.
• You don't see a single name you know on the list of celebrity birthday celebrants in the morning newspaper.
• You're reading the morning newspaper in the first place.
• You learn that your given name was the most popular in the nation for babies born between 1949 and 1954.
• The year-end reports of what's in and what's out surprise you - not because of what's newly in, but because you never were actually aware of anything that is already out.
• The only name you recognize on the list of New Year's Rockin' Eve performers is the almost-80-year-old founder who's had a stroke. Okay, that's not quite true, I recognize Lionel Richie's name, too.
• You're just happy to still be on the planet to see the ball drop once again. Even if you're watching it from another time zone so you can go ahead and go to bed an hour early and count it done.

Bring on the frolleagues

I've never been one to worry about work-life balance per se. It's not because I'm a workaholic or on any sort of competitive career fast track - quite the opposite. Nor because I don't have a life (admittedly an arguable point....)

It's that I don't really see work and life as separate, distinct activities. What I do for "work" funds the "life," of course, but to me, one is a subset of the other. Work is one of the choices I've made for how to spend the 30 million or so minutes that have thus far comprised my life, and how I'll spend the untold millions - or thousands or hundreds, whatever fortune and my accident-proneness allow - that are left to me.

I realize this not a common view. And now, I find that it extends to my management, or lack thereof, of my Facebook page.

I wandered into Facebook a few months ago, primarily to avoid being too clueless about what's going on in the 21st century. I found a few people I knew there and invited them to be my "friends." Others similarly invited me.

I fussed a bit about the semantics. In the real world I do compartmentalize people I know into different categories of acquaintenceship, usually reserving "friend" for the most treasured relationships, which include some coworkers past and present. Not all those I know and like are friends by my definition, but I enjoy knowing them, am interested in what they think and do, and am delighted we share Facebook friendships. I'd prefer "people I like" as a more all-encompassing label, but I don't get to decide what Facebook does and I realize nobody else cares about my definition of friendship. So I've put that aside.

What I've found others do care about, however, is mixing work-life people. Somebody interviewed on NPR the other day used the word "frolleagues" to define the blurring of lines between people we know from our jobs and those we know from the rest of our life all coming together on our lists of Facebook friends.

The interviewee then issued a warning to those who allow fraternization of frolleagues on social networking sites. Echoing a sentiment I've heard from several others, he cautioned about employers, customers, lending agents or others drawing conclusions about you, based on postings by your Facebook friends, and suggested maintaining completely separate colleague and family/friend groups for your own protection.

I thought about that for awhile. He and all the other experts are probably right. My Facebook friends are diverse by every definition of that word: personal and professional friends, my kids and their friends, my friends' kids and family members, neighbors past and present. Divergent ages, races, religious and cultural perspectives, socio-economic levels, family make-up and political points of view are represented among the 30-some people on that list.

I'm pretty sure - in fact, really sure - they wouldn't all agree with each other on many topics. But I have decided I like it that way.

I don't define friendship, colleagueship, or I-like-youship, by whether or not you agree with me or others in my circle. Heck, I don't even define marriedship that way: my spouse of 35 years and the children we brought into the world (long before Web 2.0) don't agree with me or each other on most issues, most of the time.

So after much contemplation, and perhaps at my peril, I have decided to ignore the advice to segment my Facebook presence. For one thing, that horse is out of the barn and galloping across the countryside. For another, she who considers work a subset of life, likewise considers each of these individuals as one of many people to learn from and appreciate. There's not a definitive line a coworker or acquaintence crosses to become a life friend, and I don't want to waste time trying to draw one.

Most important, one of the very reasons I like all these people is that they expose me to perspectives beyond my own. It's sort of like Barack Obama choosing Robert Gates, Larry Summers, Hillary Clinton, Hilda Solis, Rahm Emmanuel and Rick Warren to play roles on his team. Okay, maybe a little different scale... but the point is, Obama is not judging Robert Gates by his political party, Hillary Clinton by her vote on the war, or Rick Warren by his views on homosexuality.

None of these people is that one-dimensional and none of them is proxy for Obama. They may inform him, but they don't define him, any more than my Facebook friends define me.

So if you find me on the social networking sites, know this about me and anyone on my list of "friends." Their opinions are their own; I welcome them, may or may not share them, but fervently believe in their right to express them. I don't go for the whole guilt-by-association thing and if you try to piece together what I'm about from the aggregate of my Facebook or real-world family's or friends' words and actions, you'll be really confused.

Until you understand that for me, the American dream is not about buying a house and a flat-screen TV. It's about living in a place where you can be true to yourself, do your own research, reach your own conclusions, and bring different people and perspectives together to arrive at common good. I'd much rather stand for, and behind, that concept than try to segment people into tidy like-minded groups. On Facebook, or anywhere else.

Moment of pure bliss

Life

Is

Good

It's all up from here

It's the shortest day of the year, and in our town, also the coldest (so far). There will be nine hours, 25 minutes of daylight today; 14 hours, 35 minutes of darkness. It's not the sort of day that inspires living in the moment, at least not for me.

But the sun is shining, the temperature has worked its way up to double digits (10), our furnace works and Christmas -- with three paid days off work, and a weekend to follow! -- is on the horizon. The kids are okay, none of us is in the hospital or in a cast. After the holiday break, we all have paid work to return to, at least for now.

And now the balance between light and dark begins to shift toward light once again.

A good day to be in the moment, after all. The perfect day to post this message, with thanks to my friend Patty for passing it along: